The impact of coronavirus on new mums, families and grandparents

PREGNANT women, families and grandparents have said that lockdown, social distancing, the closure of groups and nurseries, have resulted in anxiety and left them feeling isolated.

Expectant mothers, those at home with babies and pre-schoolers, parents who had not yet returned to work or had not started their child at nursery and previously relied on relatives or friends for childcare help saw their worlds “shrink” as baby and toddler groups – which can provide the lifelines of routine and social interaction – suddenly stopped.

And five months on, despite the reopening of shops, cafes and pubs, childcare nurseries and some schools some parents are still left struggling with isolation due to a lack of central guidance for support groups to start to reopen.

Tania from Westbury, who is mum to a toddler and had a baby in lockdown , says she found it “really tough”. “I tried to make sure that we went out for a walk every morning for all of our benefits,” she told White Horse News.   “The warm weather definitely helped, but I’m very anxious about another lockdown over winter when it’s more difficult to go for walks due to bad weather. The toddler has definitely watched more tv than I would have liked, but we’ve also had lots of reading and crafting which has been lovely.”

Tania says that midwife antenatal appointments had continued during lockdown, with everyone wearing masks, but she describes her labour as tough. Tania recalled, “During labour was tough as I was alone for the first 24 hours and the midwife couldn’t give a hug or anything when things were tough,

“And after going into theatre, my husband had to leave as soon as I went to the ward, which was hard.” 

Following the birth, the health visitor came to the family’s home once, then subsequent contact was by phone. The baby had vaccines in the normal time frame, just with masks, and a phone call to the GP, like all medical appointments. 

Tania said it had been very hard without grandparents, but her mother is now in their bubble as she lives alone. The other set of grandparents have been shielding and live in Wales, so they had not seen some of them. 

“It’s been very unusual,” she added. “I’m dreading the winter.”

Another mum, Charlotte,  has slightly older children, and said, “I’ve been super busy during lockdown with the horses which has helped get the boys out too, but I have to admit – even if I am a bit ashamed – that the iPad has been very helpful too.”

Sharon Jones, who runs First Steps to Worship toddler service at Westbury’s All Saints Church, said her daughter struggled managing working from home and looking after a toddler.

“She and her husband did three-hour shifts, taking it in turns to work and mind their daughter. They then had to catch up with their work in the evening when she was in bed,” said Sharon. “Another friend went into isolation for a few weeks so she could be with her daughter and new baby after he was born.”

 As grandparents, Sharon said she and her husband had missed seeing their granddaughter.  “Not being able to touch her when she visited in the garden was very strange. They live an hour and a half drive away, so these visits are not frequent. 

“When they came for a garden visit for the first time it was very emotional. She is old enough to understand video calling and asks us to read stories and brings toys to the phone – our daughter says it is like leaving offerings at the shrine of Granny and Papa. Families with younger children find this harder as they don’t understand.” 

Sharon said another friend, whose grandchild is just over a year old, was quite nervous of her grandparents when she saw them for the first time after lockdown, as she had not seen them for so long. 

Sharon has been unable to work at a pre-school for under 4s, and her husband was shielding. “I couldn’t work with the children and found it sad and frustrating,” she said.  “It will be nice to return in the autumn.” 

Sharon is also trying to work out a plan for the return of First Steps to  Worship at 9.30am on Wednesdays in term time. “Our toddler group Little Saints is also considering their options and how to manage things, especially as some of their helpers are in the at-risk category, said Sharon.

“Families I have spoken to have missed the support and friendship these groups provide. Being able to compare notes and learn from others’ experiences is really helpful and the companionship is so important – especially when you do not live near family.”