How to help teenagers during the lockdown

CHILDREN’S charity Barnardo’s is offering some useful online advice for parents of teenagers, to help them cope with the extended lockdown.

Regional director Sarah Crawley said: “If you’re struggling to keep your teenager in the house and sticking to lockdown rules, it’s important to know that you’re definitely not alone.”

Teenage brains work differently than adult brains. Developing independence and freedom is one of the central parts of being a teenager. They are much more focused on living for today, having fun, testing boundaries and exploring their identity – and this explains why they might find the lockdown so hard.

Children and young people have told the charity the reasons they are struggling with lockdown include missing social contact with their friends, a lack of personal space, too much focus on schoolwork, and feeling scared, threatened, anxious and stressed.

As well as identifying the struggles and what doesn’t help, the online support includes advice on how to approach problems and how parents and carers can reduce tensions.

This includes:

• Check in regularly to see how they are doing – Intervening early is important. When the situation and relationship gets to a certain level of stress, it can be much harder to decompress
• Go for a walk together – Getting outside of the house together is a good way to get them active, as well as connecting with them, or just being quiet together
• Help them keep in touch – Organise, or help them to organise, closed social media groups for their closest friends
• Stay calm when talking about COVID-19 – Explain the dangers of COVID-19 calmly and without sensationalising it. Remind them of trustworthy news sources and not to spend too much time researching.
• Accept that we can’t control everything – Focus on the important issues
• Give them space – Make sure your child gets some confidential private space when they’re at home, as well as time away from siblings or elderly family members
• Try to stick to some kind of routine – Trying to maintain a normal routine of sleep, food, exercise, school work, free time and family time will help things not feel so chaotic
• Help them develop different coping strategies – home exercise, cooking, relaxation techniques. Talk to them about the things they find relaxing

Sarah added: “Each child is an individual and it’s important that you listen to the things they are struggling with the most and adapt things within the home, where possible, to help them manage their responses.

“Most importantly, please remember that you are not failing as a parent – it doesn’t mean your child is failing either. This is a difficult time for everyone, and there will be many other parents finding it difficult. Remember, it’s not going to last forever and we will get through this.”

Visit www.barnardos.org.uk/blog/how-help-your-teenager-staying-home-during-lockdown

The charity has also launched an urgent fundraising appeal to support its work with some of the UK’s most vulnerable children and young people during the crisis.

Visit www.barnardos.org.uk/coronavirus-crisis-appeal to make a donation, or send cheques (payable to Barnardo’s) to Crisis Appeal, Barnardo’s, Tanners Lane, Barkingside, Essex IG6 1QG.